im so fucking bitter. a;sldfjas;ldfjadflkguhwdikpafhadofiukbf ousdfkandjKUXbvqaeouknqwa

why cant people let things go. why do people hold grudges. forgive and forget. if you want people to change then stop bring their past up. stop reminding them of their mistakes. we all know the mistakes we have made and have learned from them. why cant you believe enough in someone that they have learned and can change. its my fucking life.

oh my people.brought down steeples.lingering loather.my guilt feels stronger.

i.would.never.let.you.blow.away.

back to nowhere a land. i see my thoughts in your head. cracks running down your hands. believing you still have a chance. i'll go down to the deepest part of your mind. screaming let me out. You know im coming home where i first doubted us. i am with you now. I would never wanna be the hope you pictured in your dream. the tide is turning with the breeze. the clouds are flying with the sea. i know you might not understand the moving space in my plan with you. after all your veins have died. i could never satisfy. be my penny for the life.

Aurum.

Breathing a golden wind,

Looking away from my sin,

I hope this never ends,

My life i finally see again.

Dreamers live by the stars,

Quitters seem to never start.

Your words pour throughout my mind,

You're here and brought death to time.

Beads connected to my veins,

Troubles leave this new found face.

Cracking smile and sleepy eyes,

Killed the trials without my knife.

i am sitting here staring at all these empty people not knowing why they are here and not trying to find it out.

so these past few days have been weird but not a bad weird just a weird weird. i am so excited for berklee. it is all i think about. well mostly. i just have forgot about where i am now i guess. i really need to get a job or something. i have been thinking way to much just cause all my friends are either at school, working, or just busy. but i dont wanna be too busy either. i hate being too busy. today was a good day, besides the ACT (bullshit) test i had to take so i can take some college classes. eh. it was stupid. the english and reading was easy for me. the math and science was brutal. i also went without a calculator. but oh well. i will find out the scores soon. i wanna hangout everyday. my mom got kfc for the family for dinner. it was gross. i hate kfc. like hate it. so now i am hungry but too grossed out to eat anything. i want to bake a pie or something. i love pie. i smile a lot more now. not in school though. ha. i mean does anyone smile in school. not i. nope. only when i see someone trip. baha. life just seems so slow right now. but maybe it is a good thing since i will be starting a brand new in less then a year. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. i will miss my friends. but nothing is gonna stop me. and I MEAN NOTHING. even if i got a full ride to some school in oklahoma, which wouldnt happen btw, i would not accept. berklee is calling my name, although it doesnt know my name. which is one reason i am going. boston, where no one knows my name. the wind yesterday was coming from the east. it never comes from the east. it was nice and unexpected. i had a great conversation with someone that i never thought i would have a great conversation. even though a lot of stuff ive been through has made me clinically insane and has put me in counseling the benefit is i can help friends with questions. questions to stuff that i actually have experience with. so i guess that will make me a good father too. just cause when my kids mess up (which they wont) i will be right there able to help them. i hate the parents that just say dont do this. but they dont tell you why.. like what happened when they did it. i dont know. i want to be an open dad. which i shouldnt think about. i have a while for that. sitting here staring at all these empty people not knowing why they are here and not trying to find out.  sad sad sad. one reason i like shades. everyone there is just so certain on their life and know so much about what they actually Want to know about. everyone here on the other hand seemed so lost and clueless. whope whope i smiled again. when i think about you i just cant stay the same.. dumdumdumdimdimdumdum. did you know it is proven that bananas make girls horny. yes seriously. and its not the SHAPE. it is all the potassium in the fruit. weird aye? heard it on some talk radio show. and yes i believe it. so banana foster is me tonight baby. i need a new acoustic. and a new mac. and money for college. help. 

now my ass burns.

well damn that was awkward. i was sitting outside smoking a cigarette when i see my moms car pull up. it was right when i enhaled so i could not blow it out and for some reason i decided to sit on my cigarette. hm. pretty funny.